My Tornado Is Resting

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Dear local friends,
anyone up for Shakespeare in the Park? Anne Hathaway, Twelfth Night... June 10th and forth.
Shall we go boldly? I really want to, and so do you, even if you don't know it yet.

My grandmother is having an affair with a married man.

Damn, that woman gets more action than any of us.

Mum is so funny. Called her 10 min ago.
"Ma, wanna go to lunch with me today?"
"I'm very busy, can't talk to you right now, can we possibly discuss this later?"
Seriously. How many letters are there in "yes" or "no" these days?

Did I mention I have by now moved entirely (that includes athletic equipment) into the "House, MD" fandom?
This is your last warning. Feel free to duck at the sound of the siren.

Just had a work-related call from a guy who works for the Overhead Underground department of my company. Number one, I would die of embarrassment working for a department with a name like that. Number two, even if I somehow miraculously survived, why, why oh why would I ever bring it up in a seemingly innocuous sentence?

Plenty of things in heaven and earth that are beyond me, Horatio.

Господа недавноприсоединившиеся,

представьтесь, пожалуйста )

Oh, hiddeneloise, dearest,
have you seen this?

первый акт и сразу купила себе пропуск на второй и третий. Как будто впервые смотрю "Firefly" - такое же ощущение бурлящего в крови адреналина. Никогда раньше не замечала, что у замарашки "Дуги Хаузера" такие пронзительно синие глаза, а Нейт Филлион так обалденно поет...

Аленький, ты не покупай, я тебе сама запишу )))

Husband calls from home today. His workday starts and the perfect hour of whenever, sure. I, conversely, am sitting here at 6:30 bloody am.
"Your pager just went off and there's a strange message on it," he says.
Occasionally, I forget my pager at home and that's where I get notification for high-priority issues at work.
"It says 'dead mother'," he continues despondently. "How, exactly, are you supposed to help with that?"

Turns out the message was cut off and it said "motherboard", but for a split second there it made me feel really powerful :)

Oh. My. God. They archive these.

http://national-library.net/authorresults.php?author=283

Блин, вот они, люди, утверждающие, что мы - тупая нация. Собрались скопом. Стадом.

http://scandal-max.livejournal.com/846018.html

Yes, the phrase "Jules Verne is the father of science-fiction" takes on a whole new meaning.

Правда, утверждают, что Даррелл когда-то такое упоминал, но сама не уверена, забыла уже.

"Произошло это в одном театре в Греции.

Ставили оперу, названия уже не помню, но заканчивалась она так - героиня, страдая от горя бросается в море со скалы и разбивается нахрен.

Влюбленный в нее идиот громко поет горестную песню на краю обрыва. Сделали ГОРУ на сцене и рабочие (видать наши) положили вниз пару-тройку матрасов, чтобы героиня не расшиблась.

Заканчивается спектакль, героиня взбегает на Гору и прыгает вниз. Калибром она была, как и большинство оперных певиц - 220х220х220 плюс веса центнера на 2. "Влюбленный" взбегает на гору, опаздывая от нее на шаг и хочет начать прощальную песню, но тут внизу раздается страшный грохот и крик боли - кто-то (тоже, видать, наши) упер матрасы. На второй день работнички постарались и внизу стоял и сторожил местный сторож. Опять Героиня подбегает и падает в пучину моря. Опять Герой опаздывает на шаг и начинает петь:

- Любовь моя, ушла ты от меня, дай бог увидеть лик твой еще раз!!!

Тут глаза у него делаются как у мышки с запором и над краем обрыва на секунду появляется верняя половина Героини. Исчезает. Сдержавшись, Герой продолжает:

- О боги, помогите мне увидеть...

Героиня снова появляется над обрывом и снова исчезает. Зрители в восторге от такой покладистости богов. Типа попросил - на, смотри!

А тому идиоту, который поставил вместо матрасов батут, Героиня сама набила морду после спектакля. "

Number 1.

Paul Anka doing "Smells Like Teen Spirit"


I honestly don't know what to say.

Number 2.

The best idea Christianity ever came up with was confession. Really, what could be more convenient! Well, it was, until a Jewish psychotherapist decided to charge for the service.

Jewish absolution: ten Bloody Marys, one Flaming Jesus.

Good heavens, all the new British people at the workplace. If it wasn't for the 9-hour-long orgasm their accents inevitably induce, their takeover would be a hell of a lot more embarrassing. Wait a minute, what am I saying?

Today, a bunch of them are getting acquainted with my floor. Where we do tech support and no bullshit. Hm.

Brit guy: "Can I just pinch your seat for a moment?"
Me: "Not without getting punched in the... oh my god, ohmygod, of course, you can-" just a teeeeny bit of a second earlier than I'd have liked to have answered.

Really. Can they LEARN ENGLISH?
Kidding. 'cuz, clearly, I can't.

Антонио! Оно заработало!
Впрочем, возможно, ты об этом уже знаешь :) Но на всякий пожарный - http://www.nashe.ru/nashe-192.m3u .

There's a choir in the lobby at my workplace - all dressed appropriately in red robes with green throws over the neck and chest, looking much like those holiday plants that invariably seem as though they're fake. Right now they're singing "we will we will rock you."

When, I ask humbly, did that become a christmas carol?

I'm currently in the process of translating (among other things, phew) Philo's wonderful "The Apple Tree", and am thrilled to see the author excited and pleased at the reviews. Having sent her a translated batch of those just today, I can't help myself - must quote a bit of her reply:

"I was so excited today to get your email that I tried an online translator on some of the reviews, with predictably hilarious results! And then I tried it on the first couple of lines of the story, which meant it started, "By Harry it slipped into "perforated boiler" and leaned on the wall, as soon as door with the quiet knock was shut after its back." I thought, perforated boiler? And then I realised that was how it was translating the Leaky Cauldron, which made me die laughing!"

Yeah. That's what I call gratifying. :)

Антонио, не могу поверить, что я тебя просекла в этой теме!!!

http://community.livejournal.com/malyshi/8731351.html?page=1#comments

Рыдаю уже час. Рабочий день насмарку.